


To See the Way Forward

by Saringold



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Established Relationship, Existential Crisis, Fate & Destiny, M/M, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Unspecified Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24406174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saringold/pseuds/Saringold
Summary: While picking up a book for Linhardt from Abyss' Shadow Library, Caspar encounters a strange woman who makes him a very tempting offer:certainty.
Relationships: Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring
Comments: 14
Kudos: 46





	To See the Way Forward

**Author's Note:**

> This idea hit me like a truck and I had to write it. This one goes out to my partner, MariaColette, who has always supported my writing and thinks I should do it more. <3

Caspar squinted at the wrinkled scrap of paper, following the directions scribbled on it until he’d found the entrance to the city below the citadel, his feet planted just before the start of the water-worn steps cascading down into Abyss. Linhardt had wanted to borrow a tome from the Shadow Library, saying he wanted to read up on Saint Cethleann’s Love Garland (whatever that meant), but apparently the Professor had already asked them to tea, meaning that it was now on Caspar to find this book and finish this particular errand. In an almost uncharacteristic display of thoughtfulness, Linhardt had quickly taken the time to write down both the title of the book and general directions to Abyss (albeit hurriedly sketched on there with an unsteady hand, making Lin’s already abysmal handwriting that much harder to decipher), stating that if he didn’t, Caspar “would surely find himself at the bottom of the lake before he would find Abyss.” He couldn’t say that he _liked_ Abyss--it was much too gloomy and trap-filled for his liking--but if his best friend (and now romantic partner! He could scarcely believe it himself sometimes) requested it, then it would be done; he’d sworn to make Linhardt happy, and if this book would help in some strange way he didn’t understand, then Caspar was more than willing to take the plunge. 

As carefully as possible, he descended the steps, the quiet sounds of water droplets intermingled with the occasional “Shit!” and scraping noises of Caspar flailing at the damp stone walls to save himself from slipping, and once he got to the bottom, he took a quick sweep of the area, narrowing his eyes as they adjusted to the weak light of the torches along the walls. The Abysskeeper gave him a look as he walked over, the two giving a grunt and a nod at each other in lieu of any spoken greeting. “Where’s the library?” Caspar asked, and the Abysskeeper raised an armored arm to point down a darkened corridor. 

“Down that way. Get to the end, and take a left; it’ll be on the right. You can’t miss it.” They clasped forearms and Caspar was on his way, winding through the ancient corridors as quickly as he dared go. Something about this place always put him on edge, and he never liked being here longer than necessary. 

He was close to the end of the corridor when he felt the tug of his instinct, bidding him to stop for a moment. He blinked and looked around, inquisitive eyes settling on the form of a woman dressed in some kind of strange outfit, sitting behind a table with what looked to be an assortment of magical tools on it. _Linhardt would like to see these,_ he thought, and he stepped toward her, something inside telling him that she was someone worth listening to.

“Ah, hello young man,” she said, and Caspar couldn’t place her accent. She sounded foreign, but he couldn’t have guessed at where she came from; he could just tell she wasn’t from… well, around here. “It seems that fate has brought you here to me. Come, sit here a moment; perhaps you will be... interested in what I have to say.” She waved invitingly at the seat across from her, obviously expecting him to take it.

Caspar gulped, but nodded. If this lady was truly dangerous, he was pretty sure he could take her; close quarters or not, he was bound to have the advantage in speed. If not, well, Caspar was at least confident in his ability to wound her, maybe slow her down before help arrived. Satisfied with that, he took a seat before her, and the mystery lady brought her hands up to what looked like a crystal ball, peering into it. 

“Hm… yes… I see…” she intoned, seemingly peering into the depths of the device. Caspar looked from the ball, to her, then back to the ball; he didn’t see anything, but then again, he wasn’t magical so maybe he wasn’t supposed to. He did want to try and keep up with what she was doing, though; maybe if he described it all well enough to Lin, his super-smart lover could try to do it again himself since he was always looking into weird magical experiments. It helped take his mind off the crushing weight of everything else, at least for a little while, and as far as Caspar was concerned, they all needed something like that these days. 

The mysterious woman pulled her hands away from the crystal ball and folded them in her lap. “From what I can tell, young man, you have someone close to you, a... companion so dear to your heart and soul that it would be no…” she trailed off a moment, bringing a hand to her chin as if thinking, then gave a little “ah!” and continued, “...exaggeration to say that you have become something akin to soulmates. You’ve known each other for many years, ever since you were children, although you were… ah… separated during these times of war, and yet once again, you have come back together, as though you were not meant to be parted.”

Caspar blinked; as she’d been talking about soulmates, an image of Lin had flashed through his mind, and if he was being honest, while he couldn’t understand most of what she was saying about fate and stuff, and he couldn’t really get past her accent on some things, he did have to admit that what she was saying sounded pretty nice.

“So, what say you?” she asked, cutting into his thoughts. “For a price, I can give you control over this fate, ensure that you and your soulmate remain together through all of this and after. And just to prove that you and I are… what is it, on the same page, I can see that your partner has long hair the color of the forests, and eyes the hue of the sea, and the blood in that one’s veins holds the power of the blessed Saint Cethleann, a gift granted in times long gone.”

Caspar’s brain, which had been racing at the speed of sound for the past several moments about Lin and the two of them being together, screeched to a halt. “Uh,” he replied eloquently, his head quickly trying to process her offer, but also grateful that she had thought to clarify who it was she’d seen. “C-control?” 

“Yes. I can ensure that the two of you… how do you say… remain together once this war is over. That is, if you both live to see the end of it.”

Caspar was reeling. He could choose? He could pay to spend the rest of his life together with Linhardt, and all he had to do was keep them both alive until the end? He had to admit, the offer sounded quite tempting; their days were so filled with uncertainty and worry, fears of whether they would survive the next battle looming on the horizon plaguing their dreams and poisoning their thoughts. That bit of security would be nice… 

He reached into his pocket, feeling for his wallet, when his questing hands touched the crumpled note. Linhardt’s face once again flashed through his mind, and his churning thoughts paused once more. Wait. This… wasn’t a decision he could make on his own. He needed to get what he’d come here for, and talk to Linhardt about it; making such a big decision in the moment, even if it ended up being something they agreed on, would only cause problems. Not to mention that even if Lin forgave him, Caspar would never forgive himself for making a decision about him without him. With that in mind, he abruptly stood from the chair, knocking it to the floor, and looked down at the lady. “Thanks, but not today. I have something I gotta get. I’ll come again, and if I decide that’s what I wanna do, I’ll say so. Ok?”

The woman chuckled, her laughter hitting his ears in a slightly offputting way. “But of course. Think about it; I’ll be here.” Caspar nodded, and left the room, scrambling to the Shadow Library and scouring the shelves. He grabbed the book Lin requested and put it in his bag before heading back up, waving a quick goodbye to the Abysskeeper as he hurled himself up the steps. Caspar burst into a jog as he reveled in the taste of fresh air once again, holding up his hand against the bright rays of the sunset as he headed home. He had a lot to think about, but more importantly, a lot to discuss with his Linny.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

As soon as he’d gotten back to the monastery proper, Caspar went to go track down Lin. Seeing as he and the Professor were no longer in the tea garden, he checked both the library and the dining hall before finally going back to the barracks (it was still strange to call them that, considering they had been dormitories at one point) and looking in his own room to find his green-haired lover fast asleep in their bed, hair splayed all over his pillow and little “hah”s escaping his mouth. Well. Caspar supposed he could wait until later to ask Linhardt about this; they still had some time. He gently reached out a hand, letting the mage’s silky hair slip through his fingers, and leaned over to place a butterfly kiss on his head. Caspar pulled out the requested tome and left it on the bed, then headed for the dining hall; knowing Linny, he would be in no mood to make the trip himself once he woke up, and Caspar would be damned if he let Lin forget to eat proper meals again.

Caspar had fully intended to talk to Linhardt about his discovery later that evening, but it seemed that fate had other plans (and great, now _he_ was talking about it like there was some great force puppeting his actions, and that was a thought he _really_ didn’t appreciate, thank you very much) as he hadn’t seen much of Linhardt at all for the rest of the night. By the time he’d gotten back with their food, Linhardt was awake and sitting at his desk, perusing the tome he'd brought back with great interest. He didn’t look up at Caspar’s entry, but once he got closer, Lin stood up and gave him a loving greeting and kisses of thanks, deftly taking the tray from Caspar’s hands and balancing it on the edge of the desk before sitting back down. “Hey, Lin,” Caspar asked, running a hand through his hair. He hated to interrupt his partner when he was working on something, but if he didn’t, who knew when Lin would have a moment to listen. “Do you, uh, have a minute? It’s not anything _urgent,_ and it’s not like anything’s _wrong,_ but I wanna get your opinion on something.” Linhardt was still for a moment, and Caspar thought that maybe Lin was so focused he hadn’t heard the question, but the scholar sighed and placed a bookmark, shutting the book.

“What is it, Caspar?” Linhardt asked, looking up at him, and perhaps it was the result of being friends for years, or maybe even the fact that they were soulmates after all, but Caspar was the best when it came to decoding Linhardt since _how_ he said things was just as important as _what_ he said, and it was obvious to him how Lin was trying to keep his tone light but the hint of annoyance at being interrupted in the middle of his research was still there, along with no small concern for Caspar’s well-being. Still, Caspar could appreciate that his partner would put interesting research aside to hear him out, and a burst of bright warmth bloomed in his chest for the loving, smart, incomparable Linhardt that he loved so much. It made the question that he wanted to ask that much more important, but it also meant that now wasn’t the time.

“You know what, I can wait. Keep reading, and I’ll talk to you about it another time,” Caspar said, a grin making its way onto his face, and Linhardt gave him an appraising look, as if wondering what he wasn’t saying, before his eyes slowly moved back to the book.

“...Alright,” Linhardt said, removing the bookmark and opening the book again to the right page. “If you say so, I believe you. Just… let me know if it does turn out to be urgent, alright?”

“I will.” Caspar planted an audible smooch on his lover’s gorgeous green hair, and set his own tray down on the bed, grabbing an extra quill from the desk and the wrinkled note from his pocket. With quick strokes, he scribbled out “Ask about mystery lady and fate” on the back of the note, and shoved it back where it belonged. This way, he’d remember for later, but for now, he could spend the time waiting for Linny to be done by doing some extra training. He picked up his tray one more time, slipped an arm around Linhardt’s shoulders and said “I’ll be at the training grounds,” and got a kiss on the arm and a distracted “stay safe” before he pulled back and headed out into the refreshingly cool night air.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This pattern went on for a while; it seemed that for the rest of the week, either Caspar or Linhardt was distracted with some urgent task or piece of business, whether it was Linhardt's ever-increasing shifts in the infirmary or Caspar's many, many practice drills, and the only times they had to each other were those few sweet moments of kisses and cuddles they had before they fell asleep in each other’s arms at night, and whatever they could get away with once they awoke in each other’s embrace in the morning. On the next free day, however, Caspar was bound and determined that he would talk to Linhardt about this, and finally convinced him to set aside some time for tea. With teatime being a semi-sacred affair at Garreg Mach, it was one of the only ways Caspar could reliably get Linhardt all to himself for half an hour without the risk of being walked in on. That had happened too many times for his liking, and this was too important to be interrupted. Before he knew it, it was their appointed hour, and he had the tea brewed and sweets baked (thanks to the much-needed help of Ashe and Bernie), ready to meet Linhardt over by the outdoor tables near the gazebo.

Linhardt arrived just as Caspar had finished setting down the tea and desserts, and the two wrapped each other in big hugs, revelling in the warmth and feelings of safety and connection running so strongly between them. No matter how many times he hugged his partner, just having Linhardt in his arms, warm, alive, and _safe,_ was all the motivation Caspar needed to get through the endless days of battle. Almost reluctantly, they parted, and took their seats. Linhardt happily brought the cup of Angelica tea up to his lips, savoring the aroma before taking a sip, and Caspar started slurping at his own Ginger tea, feeling proud that at long last, he had stopped oversteeping the leaves. They chatted back and forth, catching up and making small talk, before Caspar’s hands were drawn to his pocket and he pulled out the note. Now was the time.

“Hey Linny,” he asked nervously, and the change in mood was palpable as Linhardt suddenly straightened in his chair, his gaze not just looking at, but almost _through_ Caspar, as though actively listening to every word.

“Yes, Caspar?”

“I… kinda wanted to ask you about something,” Caspar replied, bringing a hand up to run through his hair, and it wasn’t that he was nervous about _telling_ Linhardt, but he knew full well that he wasn’t good with words and he didn’t want to accidentally give his bestie the wrong idea. “While I was in Abyss getting your book, I met this woman who… hooks people up, I think? I don’t exactly know.” He was rewarded with Linhardt almost spitting out his tea, looking at him with wide eyes. 

“You saw the Wayseer?!” 

“Is that her name? She has a crystal ball, and does magic and stuff…”

“I… yes. That is she. Please, do go on,” Linhardt coughed, clearing his throat before taking another sip of tea.

“Anyway, she said that she could ‘ensure the two of us remain together’ once this war was over, if we both survived it. I mean, that was the plan all along, but…” Caspar felt his cheeks grow red. “Well, it sounds kinda nice to have a guarantee like that, but I didn’t wanna take her up on it without asking you.”

“So what exactly _are_ you asking me?”

Caspar groaned. “Don’t make me spell it out! If we could pay this lady to bind fate or whatever in order keep us together, and we knew it would work… would you?”

Linhardt’s expression melted into what Caspar lovingly dubbed his thinking face. “...I admit, this was not exactly a question I had envisioned coming from you, Caspar. You aren’t usually the sort of person who considers these types of existential questions in more than a passing capacity.” 

Caspar flushed, the force of the statement making him flinch and almost spill his tea. “Yeah, well… I just wanna know. If you would do it.” 

Linhardt sighed and sat back in his chair, eyes fixing on some unknowable point as he thought, and Caspar waited in silence for several minutes, slurping his tea and staring at Lin, hoping to the goddess that Lin hadn’t fallen asleep with his eyes open again, because that had happened once and it was really freaky. He’d heard that was something only fish were able to do, and maybe this meant Linhardt could also be part fish, given how much he loved the water and fishing in general, and apparently Saint Cethleann loved that kind of thing too, and now that he thought about it, Lin as a fish person would be pretty _sweet,_ and the green of his hair would look really nice with some light green scales--

“Caspar,” Linhardt said pointedly, jarring him back to reality. “I can hear you thinking from over here. Now, in answer to your question, I would say… no.”

Caspar blinked, surprised, and perhaps more surprising to him was the flash of hurt that blinked through him. “R-really? Even if we were guaranteed to stay together?” 

Linhardt sighed, and set down his tea on the table. Caspar mirrored him, listening intently; Linhardt wasn’t always the best with words either, so if Lin had taken this long to figure out what to say, that meant it was super important for Caspar to listen as best he could. “The reason why I say no is because I don’t think we need to. You see, as I’ve told you, you and I… we have a bond that cannot be broken. The woman herself saw that. And you, Caspar, you are one of the greatest sources of my Faith; having you by my side gives me the ability to cast the magic that I do. Our bond is one that has only deepened over time, and is something that even now, I swear I can feel wrapped around my heart each time we go into battle and come out of it alive and together.”

Linhardt took a breath, and Caspar used that moment to stand up and reach across the table to crash his lips against Linhardt’s, trying to get all of the warm, joyous emotions he felt in that moment through to the other, tasting the tea on his tongue as Linhardt stood and leaned into the kiss as well. Once they parted for air, Linhardt simply huffed, trying to keep back a smile and utterly failing. “Yes, well, now that you’ve heard all that, maybe you’ll let me say the rest before all of these bird-like words fly out of my head again?”

"Ah, yeah. Sorry." Caspar nodded sheepishly as they took their seats once more, and he focused once again on the love of his life, taking Linhardt’s hand and kissing the knuckle. Linhardt cleared his throat, but made no move to pull his hand away. 

“As I was saying, the other consideration is that I prefer not to meddle with fate whatsoever. While it is true that I prefer to ponder our course and all options available to us, if I _knew_ what was to come, what would be the use of _trying_ to get there, whether it is a good outcome or a sorry one? If I knew the end outcomes of all of my crest research, knew what it is that I would find if I reached the end, then what would be the point of doing it beyond using it to save the ones I care for? Imagine for instance that the end result of my research is that I could remove a crest. A worthy cause, for some. If I knew that, I could remove Marianne and Lysithea’s crests, and then never so much as look at Crest research again; I would have been given my answers and the research itself would bring me no more joy, seeing as I would have been stripped of my ability to search for and discover those answers myself.”

“Say for instance that we were ‘meant to be’ together in this way. Does this mean that even if I should suddenly become as stoic and cold as my father, and you as eternally enraged as yours, and we would only make each other miserable if we were to stay together, we would yet still only be bound to each other, forced to continue to be together because that has been _willed_ by some great, unreasonable force?”

“If an unchangeable fate exists, then by that notion, free will does not, and I refuse to accept that I am but a poor puppet upon a stage, dragged along by the whims of fate and controlled by a faceless puppeteer. I have spent much of my life refusing to embrace that notion, and I have no intention of starting now. I determine my own course, and I have decided that my place is by your side, following you wherever you will go, to the very ends of the world if that is our destination.” 

By the time Linhardt finished his tirade, he was panting, and had at some point stood up, bracing himself against the table. Caspar had not let go of his hand. With a sigh, he sat back down. “Forgive me, Caspar. It is _because_ I love you that I caution against this, because it is all too easy to take a guarantee for granted.” He covered Caspar’s hand with his own, giving it a squeeze, and continued in a quiet voice. “A bond takes work. It takes effort. And you are the one I am willing to make the effort for. While not having to give the effort might seem like it would appeal to me on the surface… the day I stop putting forth the effort into our love is the day I would no longer love you, and the very thought scares me almost as much as dying without you.”

Linhardt went quiet, out of words and breath both, and Caspar scrambled to find words, any at all, to offer any sort of comfort, but found them all stuck in his throat, hiding. He stood up from his chair. He had always been more of a man of action anyway, and his instinct told him that right now, he just needed to be close to his Linny. Carefully, he freed his hands and walked over to his lover, picking him up in a bridal carry and intending to bring him back to their room, leaving their teacups and treats sitting abandoned on the table for the birds to pick at.

“I think…” he started, the words coming easier now that he was walking, moving; his thoughts felt more free too. “I think you’re right. I don’t want anything or anyone controlling me, whether it’s fate or the goddess or something else. I wanna be with you because I want to be, not because I’m going to be, and if we already have our bond, then that’s good enough for me.” He looked down into Linhardt’s endless pools of blue, and the warm feeling blossomed in his chest all over again. “I love you, and that’s ‘cause I decided there was nobody else I’d rather spend my time and my life with. You get what I mean, right?”

“I do,” Linhardt whispered achingly, vulnerably, and Caspar decided, all by himself mind you, that this exact spot was the best place to start kissing the love of his life, his _soulmate,_ and from Linhardt’s eager reciprocation, he fully agreed. By the time they decided to finish meandering their way back to the barracks, the sun was already low in the sky, and they shared a glance, a smile, and then laughter as their stomachs began to growl.

“Dining hall? My treat.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, you’re back,” the Wayseer cackled, laughter echoing around the dingy room as Caspar walked in. 

“Yeah, I am. And I wanted to say that I’m not interested.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. Fate’s the kinda thing that I don’t wanna know about. I make my own decisions. I don’t wanna set things in stone, I wanna take ‘em as they come. That’s my way. And if I don’t like it, I’ll just make it better,” he smiled, giving the Wayseer a wide grin.

She chuckled in response. “An admirable goal, young man. In that case, I hope that you find only happiness with your soulmate.”

“Thanks, lady,” Caspar replied, turning to walk out. “Oh, and uh, for what it’s worth, I hope you’re happy too.”

The Wayseer waited until his quick steps had faded away before lying back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling as an old memory wound its way free from her throat.

_“Whether call of fate, or whim of Grace,  
Or the heart’s own will be true,  
Perhaps it matters not so long  
As there be strength to Do._

_For you see, my child, what matters more,  
Than what be the cause,  
Is that people drive their own lives  
And escape from Indifference’s jaws.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow my writing [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Saringold_)


End file.
